After an unflagging series of drafts wanting any sort of importance or social interest whatsoever, I'm at it again. I should really get myself enrolled in a writing class program pronto.

So anyway, I finally figured out why I've been so hexed at writing or in any of the projects I've been putting myself into lately (translation: not getting anything done). Cuzzin Karl will call it a 'bad juju', but I know better.

It's my wavering heart.

I'm beating myself senseless after this.

I'm not exactly the most mushy person on the planet. So you can imagine how straining this is for me right now.

I ask, how can one keep so much burning emotion to her-/himself? And when it's become too much to bear, how does one deal?

When fate steps in and you finally meet this person you swore you'd never [and I quote, 'in a million years'] like and realize you actually do [-a lot] and you get along pretty well and he's all you ever think about and you find a gajillion of things you have in common, to which you think he is totally oblivious about. You're convinced he's the mysterious guy you've been dreaming about for months now. And you're conflicted between ideas on confessing how you really feel about him and keeping it to yourself. But then again it doesn't really matter because in the slightest chance that he might return your feelings, you feel you won't deserve any of it anyway.

After all, he's the one candy you can never have- you just hope you'd stop obsessing over him so much.