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Time
Monday, November 9, 2009
4:08 PM
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Partly cloudy Dear No One, James Wilson, MD: "So he was a bastard, he's still your father. You're genetically programmed to have feelings for him." Gregory House, MD: "I don't." James Wilson, MD: "Feelings aren't rational." Touché. It's not a secret. I have despised my own paternal parent since my second year in high school. That's the year I started finding out things about him I didn't like. I was beginning to see the kind of person he really was and tried to keep from us. Since then it's been 2-minute phone call returns and half-hearted I love yous. I hated him so much but I understood my place and still kept what was left of my respect for him. For the longest time I've been trying to understand how his rationality and morality works but to this day I remain inconclusive. Apparently there are people in this world who live for that kind of stuff, selfish gains and evil ways. It would seem weird coming from me, though, but every time I dig a hole for myself and find no one else to help me- there he is, without a word, pulling me out. I don't know if he knows I know everything about him and understands I'm angry so he remains unfazed whenever I throw the meanest things to say at him- or none at all. But if that is so, why If he really loves us like he says he does, why not try to be a better person? Why not try to be a better role model for his kids? He sat down with me, looked me in the eye and said he was going to leave and isn't sure if he's coming back. He wanted me to come back home where he can have all his kids together. I was torn. I didn't know if I should start feeling angry all over again or cry that he's going away. But I'm done being angry. I don't want to have so much hatred in my heart anymore. I was ready to forgive. I said to myself, life is so short. I want to make the best with the time we have left together. I'm finally growing up. But yea, feelings aren't rational.
Don't Mind Me, I'm Miserable.
Monday, July 20, 2009
1:27 PM
1 comments
I'm hurt and I feel alone. I don't understand where I went wrong. I still want to believe I'm meant for something great. What that is, I do not know.  Something Out There For Me -MEki I guess I'll always be the girl who watches from the distance You'll never see me through I guess with my last chance do I take it? When I know you won't dance Not with me. I fake a smile but the hurt shows Am I dying away? My tears run as my heart burns For you I'll bear the pain There's gotta be something waiting out there for me Gotta keep my head held high and take things slowly My fate's in my hands and the Lord understands me I asked Him, I said "Is there more to this weeping?" I guess I'll always feel the cold the wind when I'm not playing Where do I go from here? A direction for my soul Where to begin? I'm not a kid anymore No, not anymore. I walk a mile but I'm stranded Who do I want to be? There has to be something somewhere a written destiny To get back up again To live my life again  Technorati Tags: life, sketch
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